Here’s what happened. Most of it is bad news. Some of it is funny in a sad way.
Satire hits hard
The Onion wants your Infowars subscription. They’re actually suing for the domain name. Alex Jones hates this. Of course he does. The Onion’s CEO, Ben Collins, has zero chill. He plans to mock the “fucking stupid” conspiratorial brain rot. That’s the strategy. Make it stupid enough that it stops working.
Nuclear dreams
Three startups just hit a milestone. Big deal, they say. Fourth of July celebrations included. New reactor designs are coming online. Maybe. Probably. But don’t hold your breath for actual cheap power yet. There is a long way to go.
Milestones feel great in the moment. They feel terrible when the bill arrives five years late.
DeepMind unions
Google’s AI branch tried to unionize. It went poorly. Workers are angry. Executives didn’t show up. Or didn’t listen. Hard to tell. The vibe was “we’re ignoring you.” The workers are shouting. Who wins? History suggests nobody feels happy.
Everything costs money now
Your gadgets are expensive. Again. Thanks, AI. Chip shortage is still raging. Phones. Laptops. Gaming consoles. All price hikes. Why? Demand outstripping supply. Or greed. Or both. Pick your poison.
Nicotine lies
The FDA gave ZYN a pass. Sort of. They said it’s “less harmful” than cigarettes. This means they can market to smokers. Safer isn’t safe. Quitting entirely is still the only right answer. Marketing won. Logic lost.
For the cheap travelers
Ounce-counters rejoice. Sleep quilts exist. They are light. They are cheap. You skip the bulky sleeping bag. You embrace the draft. Summer camping hack unlocked.
Electric cars grounded
Polestar dealers have a problem. Can’t sell cars in the US next year. The federal government blocked authorization. Chinese tech ban got in the way. Dealers invested money. Now it’s stuck. Bad luck.
TV guide
Watch something good. House of the Dragon. Adventure Time. The Man Will Burn. Netflix exists for a reason. Stop scrolling.
Digital ownership
Sony deleted digital movies from user libraries. Again. Reminder: you don’t own what you buy online. You rent it. Long term. Until they decide otherwise. September brings more erasures. PlayStation fans should be mad.
The cloud is just someone else’s computer. That someone can change their mind.
Spying backfire
EU politicians investigated Pegasus spyware. Smart move. The spyware ended up on one of their phones. How ironic. A Citizen Lab study revealed it. “Direct attack on rule of law,” says a parliament member. They meant it. It probably happened.
Reality TV math
Love Island USA is huge. 10 million users on the app. The producer says it’s more voters than in real elections. Democracy loses to beach babes. Shocking.
